There are things inside us that create resistance when someone tries to trigger them.

They make us uncomfortable.Create uneasiness. And in those moments, the only path we choose is the immediate one: escape.

We escape by arguing.

We escape by shouting.

We escape by ignoring the conversation.

We escape by any means, just to get rid of the discomfort.

For me, this shows up during financial planning discussions. I find myself making excuses, arguing, changing the topic, getting irritated. I become so uncomfortable that I do whatever it takes to shut the conversation down.

And honestly, part of that is human. None of us are perfect. All of us carry vulnerable spaces we’d rather not expose.

Parts that feel unfinished, uncertain, not ready to face the light.

But over time, I’ve started noticing something:

The topics we avoid the most… are usually the ones that matter the most. They don’t just touch our discomfort, they hold our growth.

Things like:

• Finances
• Relationships
• Sometimes even emotions

These aren’t casual topics. They’re the foundations of our lives.

And yet we treat them like landmines, stepping around, not through.

So the real question is:

Why do we resist? Why does something so important feel so threatening?

Often, it’s because we’ve built a kind of internal authority bubble.

We tell ourselves: “I’m in charge of this part of life.”

But deep down, we know we haven’t done the work. We aren’t clear. We aren’t grounded.

No clarity → No confidence → No conversation

And so we protect the illusion.

Because if someone sees we’re unclear, they might stop trusting us.

And that’s the real fear:

Not the topic itself, but the possibility that our authority might crack.

So if you’re like me, and you’ve found yourself escaping certain conversations, here’s something I’ve started practicing.

Not as a strategy. But as a way to stop lying to myself.

A Small Framework for Inner Authority

1. Acknowledge the topics that make you uncomfortable. Name them without judgment.
2. Circle the ones that, even if left unspoken, aren’t breaking anything right now.
3. Pick the rest, the ones where silence is creating slow damage. These are the ones that matter.
4. For each of those, write down 10 reasons why you avoid the conversation.
   (It will be tough. That’s how you know it’s working.)
5. Read them back, not as flaws, but as fears asking to be seen.
6. Ask yourself: What would this conversation sound like if I wasn’t trying to protect my image?
7. Now speak. Not to win, not to prove, just to be real.

You don’t lose authority by being honest.

You gain it, by being someone who faces the truth before it explodes.